I know for sure that motherhood is one of the most beautiful experienced any woman can have. It brings so much joy and purpose in life. There are discoveries about yourself, such as your ability, the willingness to grow, and the sacrifices you can do for your kids. However, feelings are not always like that.
Along with different expectations, there are mommies like me that I know who think about the opposite. There are too much anxiety and stress that come along because everything about motherhood is full of uncertainty. As for me, I also have my greatest fear of becoming mom.
Not Being Able To Provide The Right Love And Care
Being a mother is immeasurable. There are lots of expectations that somehow makes one lose control over things. It is not like hating life as it is. But there is more to the responsibilities that come with motherhood’s purpose. Sometimes, one of the greatest fears of becoming a mother is not about providing children their physical needs. These include shelter, food, and clothes. What bothers most mommies is their anxiety over what is the right process of loving and caring. Yes, there is no such thing as measured love and care. But, who can tell? The idea of not being able to give your kids the right amount of love and affection are something that makes most mothers feel bad about themselves.
For mom and psychologist, FrancyneZelster, Ps.D., providing love and care is evident in the quality time you share with them. “What’s more important than the quantity of time you spend with your kids is the quality of the time you do have together. When I am with my children, whether for an hour or a full day, I am responsive to their cues and needs; I provide undivided attention whenever possible to set them up for success.”
Not Being Able To Create An Impact
Along with the responsibility of disciplining and teaching values to kids, mothers’ role should have to make an impact. But what if there is none? It is inevitable for the fact that mothers are aware of handling their kids up to their knowledge and understanding. But what if the type of parenting is not as compelling as most moms think and believe? Will they be able to know if their kids are getting the right understanding of life from the way of their mothers’ teaching only? Of course, not. Therefore, if most mothers cannot create an impact on their kids’ life, then no one can say that her role gets well executed.
Moms have a grave impact on their child’s well-being. This point is a matter of making positive or negative impact on your kids.William Berry, LMHC shares, “If you are a parent, have you honestly looked at what you have done wrong while parenting, and discussed it with your adult child? This is known cognitively, but do parents actually take responsibility for it?” Based on this point, the only way to know is to have that tough conversation with our kids.
Not Being Able To Set As A Good Example
With all the issues and family relationship complications that a lot of people experience every day, every mother’s decision is crucial. So what if a particular decision is not meant to solve problems? What if instead of fixing things up, it ruins everything that the whole family has? You see, every mother fear has something to do with their ability to set as an excellent example for their kids. But of course, not everything falls with their plans. There are times that the slightest motherhood mistake creates total damage to everything. Sometimes, there are unfortunate cases that there is nothing to salvage anymore. Mothers want their kids to look up to them. But not all are responsible enough to set themselves as an example.
In parenting, it is all about setting a good example for your children because they are watching you, says Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D. “Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, ‘What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?” Children often end up absorbing their parents demeanor and behaviors.
If the teachings and values of motherhood appear mishandled, then people can expect failure in parenting. And that my friend is scary.