Category: Mother’s Self Care

Counseling For Mothers Who Are Dealing With Mom Guilt

Though many people do not usually see it, most moms blame themselves when there is an imbalance in their lives. It is in terms of managing career, social networks, family, and home. Somehow, it became a norm for most mothers to feel guilty one way or another every time they are out of control. It makes them think that they made some wrong life decisions, and honestly, that is entirely damaging for all mothers’ mental and emotional health.

Mom’s guilt can come from so many reasons. It can come from a mother’s own perspective of incompetence and unavailability, other people’s constant judgments, and self-battle between want and need. It influences family and children’s relationships. Mom guilt can sabotage any mothers’ role because there is pressure all the time. It makes these moms believe that they are not enough as a mom or as a parent. Given that moms acknowledge their guilt, they should try and get rid of that no matter what.

Source: pixabay.com

How To Deal With Mom Guilt

Focus More On What Is There To Do

Often, moms developed guilt because they get caught up with pressure. They somehow want to handle everything because they overconfidently believe that they can accomplish it. You can’t blame them. The more these moms think they can manage it, the more they try harder. However, the problem begins when these mothers reach their limits. They often get overwhelmed with so many things in their hands that they cannot focus on what is more important. As a result, most moms end up with lots of stress, anxiety, and sometimes severe emotional and mental health issues. So to avoid this particular complication, moms should look forward to things that involve an immediate resolution. They should not allow themselves to get stuck with so many things on the table but must accomplish or solve problems one at a time. Moms should realize that they can’t have it all.

Do Not Listen To Know-It-All People

Usually, when mom’s guilt stems from other people’s judgment and criticism, it becomes too difficult to handle. That is because moms rely upon and become dependent on other people’s comments and opinions without critically thinking or validating the issue. This particular habit of listening to other people’s know-it-all remarks that potentially hold a different and negative meaning is the one that heightens their emotional and mental instability. Thus, if moms want to get rid of their guilt, they should not listen to other people, especially parenting. Mothers should realize that parenting styles and family approaches are different from one household to another. Thus, creating a standard based on other individuals’ lives is useless.

Source: pixabay.com

Establish A Trusted Circle

While there is an emphasis on not listening to other people’s unsolicited opinions, it is also essential for moms to surround themselves with a trusted circle. These could be close relatives, friends, or fellow mothers who support and trust their parenting and family care decisions. These should be the people who will not judge their choices and openly respect their preferences even if it does not entirely fit anyone’s standards. Establishing or narrowing down people in their lives will allow moms to know who they should consider listening to. They will become more open to advice without having negative feedback about what other people have to say. Having an established circle will help mothers not to view other people’s comments and suggestions as irrelevant remarks.

Prioritize Self-Awareness And Self-Care

Mothers should realize that self-care is not an option. It is not something they should do when they only feel like it. Self-care is a necessity. Moms should not feel guilty if they want to rest and relax because they deserve it. They should not apologize for leaving things disorganized because they need a particular break to eliminate mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. They need time to recharge and rethink. Self-care is different for every mom, and often some strategies that work for others do not work for some. But moms need to realize the significance of providing themselves the best time alone. Mothers should not feel sorry for being selfish once in a while. Remember, moms can do excellent things but only when they treat themselves better.

Source: pixabay.com

Insight

Unfortunately, the process of getting rid of mom’s guilt is easier said than done. But even though mom guilt can be detrimental to overall wellness, mothers should take advantage of it and use it the other way around. Mom guilt can be productive as it provides mothers a few insights into what they can improve and eliminate. Thus, they should learn to establish a work-life balance that includes proper scheduling, practice, and home arrangement. That way, moms can forget about the unnecessary buildup of guilt.

 

Anxiety Buildup Over Delayed Period (Counseling For Women’s Health)

I genuinely do not want to talk about this emotional roller coaster that I am experiencing because I find it unnecessary to discuss this and a private issue. I mean, I literally do not want people to know that I am on the verge of breaking down just because I can’t seem to handle my thoughts. This anxiety that is building up on me is taking away my positive energy and sense of self-commitment. It makes me want to give in to stress and depression at the same time.

To tell it honestly, these worries over a delayed period are not supposed to bug me that easily. I am confident to handle it because this is what I am expecting. I am a consenting adult who understands how sex and pregnancy work. So this should not become a big deal since I already knew what would happen next. However, things are slightly out of hand because of some medical issues I may not have noticed I am going through.

Source: pixabay.com

What’s The Issue?

One of my major concerns is my delayed period. This is genuinely the first time I missed out on a cycle. I tried researching about it, and fortunately, I find out that it is quite normal to experience it once or twice in a woman’s life. Therefore many Google results show that there is nothing to worry about since science already proved to be physically normal. But still, I have doubts about that percentage.

Days passed, and I began to get paranoid because of these “supposed” early signs of pregnancy. These include swollen breasts, bloating, mood swings, nausea, frequent urination, fatigue, light cramps, and of course, a delayed period. All of which is somewhat what I experienced for the past couple of weeks. But even if those things seem evident, I still didn’t think about the possibility of being pregnant because I know that my reproductive system needs healing. Yes, that is quite right. I am almost incapable of getting pregnant due to a long history of reproductive issues. I don’t intend to sound too negative about it because I still believe and hope that someday I can take these worries out of my clinical problems.

So to continue with the “delayed period story,” I went on and grabbed some pregnancy kit. The one that people use to test that urine hCG levels or something, we all know that. After testing, the result was negative. I feel relieved with the result, but I thought that I should retake the test to be sure. So I went to the local pharmacy and bought another one.

The first time I took the pregnancy test, I was genuinely hoping that I wasn’t pregnant. But on my second attempt, I sort of feel like wanting to get a different result. So after I tried testing again, the result was the same. But this time, the emotions are different. It was as if I was looking forward to a positive outcome. I began fantasizing about being pregnant.

Source: pixabay.com

How Things Go

So after quite a whole series of testing and waiting (which was entirely emotionally and mentally exhausting), I tried testing again. The thing that pushed me to do this is Google. No, I am not blaming the internet for this mental agony. However, I still strongly suggest anyone never rely on the internet for any signs and symptoms as the results there create some emotional disturbance. But it was too late for me to grasp that idea, so I ended up researching some possible answers to this delayed menstrual period.

Back to the pregnancy trial story again, I was pretty much certain that some early symptoms are present. Unfortunately, the pregnancy kit doesn’t cooperate, and the result was again negative. Then the anxiety went up, and there is no stopping it. I tried testing three times, and all three results were negative, so what else should I expect? Then there goes me again, Googling some possible answers where I find out that I might be suffering from pseudocyesis. It is the condition that a woman believes in expecting a baby when she is not actually carrying a child. This search result scared me because I thought I could be crazy. I have this strong feeling of being pregnant due to some of the pregnancy symptoms, except that there is no actual fetus.

Source: pixabay.com

Final Thoughts

This whole situation of a missed period is giving me a hard time. I can’t sleep and think clearly because I might end up having a serious reproductive health problem, which is a lot to take in. I hope and pray that there is nothing clinically serious or damaging involve in this dilemma.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Postpartum Depression

I do not understand how depression works since I am not the typical type of person who easily gets distracted from my emotional stress. I often find myself positively aware of my surroundings. That’s why I can somehow look closely into my decision-making abilities. As much as I can, I make sure to stay emotionally stable because I know that I can get anxious and stressed when my emotions are not in place.

However, after giving birth last week, things became slightly different as I often find myself lonely, confused, and a bit depressed. I tried working on my mental health by exercising and getting enough sleep, but these habits are not helping me. Ever since I got home from the hospital, I know there is something wrong with me. I was certain that I am experiencing postpartum depression. To understand what I am dealing with, I asked my doctor more about this mental health issue. That is where she explained everything to me. Below are the answered frequently asked questions that my doctor and I discussed.

Source: pixabay.com

How long is the postpartum period? 

The postpartum period commonly refers to the month and a half or six weeks after childbirth. It is a crucial time for both the mother and her newborn baby as both of them are adjusting to the changed involvement in the family. In the postpartum period, the first few hours and days after childbirth, a mother will experience physical and emotional changes.

That explains all the sudden mood changes I experienced within a week. It was all because I have mental and emotional instability. But if you would ask me if I should be worried about this particular situation? The answer is that my therapist and I will be seeing each other for at least a couple of sessions more.

 How long do mood swings after birth last? 

Having a cute newborn baby is something that most women entirely appreciate. It is as if they are blessed with an angel. However, feelings are not the same in general. That is because most new moms will get the baby blues. It is a state where hormonal changes cause a different anxiety level, leading to a lot of crying and restlessness. Though these can go away within the first two weeks after giving birth, some mothers experience lasting emotional and mental effects.

Well, as for me, I don’t think I should wait for a few more weeks before finally realizing that my postpartum depression is already severe. Whether I am dealing with right now is just what people call baby blues, I still want to get rid of this mental health problem as soon as possible.

 When should you be concerned after giving birth? 

It is entirely essential to pay attention to the warning signs of possible complications after giving birth. You have to immediately contact a health care provider as soon as possible if you experience some medical issues. These include heavy bleeding. It is like soaking through more than one pad in an hour or noticing large blood clots that come out of your private area. A red or swollen leg feels warm or painful when you touch it, and an unexplained feeling of restlessness, headaches, and sudden fever.

Source: pixabay.com

 Is postpartum considered a disability?

Under ADA or the Americans with Disability Act, pregnancy is not a disability. However, pregnancy-related impairments caused by postpartum depression can be considered. That is because this type of mental health issue often causes hardship to new moms. It becomes widely accepted as a disability because of the nature of the mental condition’s effects on women’s health. They continue to engage in self-inflicting harm and even suicide.

 Can you get a short-term disability for postpartum? 

Postpartum affects 1-2 out of 1000 women. While people see it as a low rate condition, its effects can be entirely miserable for the affected women. As with other types of mental health issues, women with postpartum depression can apply for short-term disability or long-term disability benefits.

 Can you get PIP for postnatal depression? 

When dealing with mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression, and these affect you in any way you can no longer see yourself functioning the way you are supposed to, you should be eligible for PIP or Personal Independence Payment. As long as you can verify that your mental health causes daily living or mobility issues, then you can apply for the said benefits.

 Does anyone get PIP for mental health? 

People under financial and psychological pressure often end up struggling with circumstances are at risk of increased levels of anxiety, stress, or depression. Unfortunately, Personal Independence Payment (PIP) is not awarded to individuals with a physical or mental health condition. Typically, it gets based on the level of help individuals needs resulting from their condition. Thus, individuals can only guarantee a PIP if they have daily living and mobility needs due to their mental illness.

 How do I pass a PIP assessment for mental health? 

You will be assessed for PIP depending on the level of help you need to complete certain activities. These are categorized into two components, such as daily living and mobility. To pass PIP, you need to obtain a total number of points, and these will decide if you are entitled to PIP or not, including how much money you should be able to receive.

Source: pixabay.com

 Takeaway

I know it can be quite overreacting to say that your unexplained sadness and mood changes are entirely related to depression to all the new moms out there. I might be wrong with that information. But would it be nice to know and understand your thoughts and feelings, especially when you are uncertain about them? Remember, not because it does not hurt you for the first few weeks, it does not mean you are exempted from having postpartum depression. It would be nice to pay attention to the warning signs and do not let them slip away. Ensure your overall well-being and prioritize it as much as possible, not only for your sake but for the sake of your family and newborn baby.

 

Postpartum Depression: Frequently Asked Questions

 

Source: rawpixel.com

Having a baby can cause a mixture of powerful emotions – from happiness, excitement, and surprise to worry, fear, and frustration. However, it could also ultimately lead to an illness that you would never have expected – depression.

Most new mothers go through what others call the ‘baby blues’ right after giving birth, and this typically presents with irritability, sleeping difficulties, mood changes, and crying spells. Baby blues commonly start on the second or third day following delivery, and they may persist for up to two long weeks.

On the other hand, some new mothers suffer from a more extreme and longstanding type of depression referred to as postpartum depression. A severe mood disorder known as postpartum psychosis may also develop, although it seldom occurs.

Below are some frequently asked questions on postpartum depression that may help new moms manage their mood and other behaviors that might arise giving birth. Ultimately, this is a great way for dads to learn more about the condition to help their partners go through it more comfortably.

Source: rawpixel.com

How can you prevent postpartum?

You can prevent postpartum depression by following these tips:

  • Eat and sleep properly
  • Learn more about the condition
  • Stay physically active
  • Anticipate the aftermath of childbirth and be ready for it
  • Find someone who can assist you during this period.

How long do postpartum hormones last?

Normally, symptoms linked to hormonal imbalance must only occur for a few weeks following delivery, around six to eight weeks. Symptoms linked to hormones while the mom is breastfeeding will persist in the body until the mom continues to breastfeed her baby.

Is it normal to cry all the time after having a baby?

Feeling various kinds of emotions following childbirth is entirely normal. Crying often and feeling dazed for days after giving birth is not uncommon at all. If you are feeling sad and anxious and unable to deal with these negative feelings for over ten days following your delivery, though, you must contact your obstetrician for possible postpartum depression.

What are the causes of postpartum?

After giving birth, a significant decrease in hormones progesterone and estrogen in the woman’s body may result in postpartum depression. Other hormones may also decrease substantially, which may be the reason why you often feel depressed, sluggish, and fatigued.

Can my baby feel when I’m sad?

When a woman is pregnant, her baby is unprotected from everything that she experiences. This can include the air that she takes in, the emotions she feels, the sounds in her surroundings, and the food that she consumes. When the woman feels happy, and at peace, this allows the baby to experience a happy environment. Consequently, the opposite of this occurs when the woman feels sad or depressed.

What can I do postpartum?

The tips below can help you hasten your postpartum recovery that you heal faster and better:

  • Remember to care for your C-section scar always.
  • Perform your Kegel exercises regularly.
  • Care for your breasts and be kind to them.
  • Attend your doctor’s appointments.
  • Eat healthy food and foods that help prevent constipation.

How many bones do you break while giving birth?

One form of birth injury that could occur to the baby during delivery is a bone fracture. Research found that broken bone injuries happen in one of a thousand births. This may be relatively low, but it is high enough to be a concern to expectant mothers.

Why do I still look pregnant 6 months postpartum?

While your baby has been delivered, you may wonder why you still have a squishy, round midsection that makes you appear like you’re six months on the way. A lot of women also have this dark line coursing through their abdomen. This is called the linea nigra.

How can I fix my hormonal imbalance after pregnancy?

Below are natural methods to help fix or maintain hormonal balance:

  • Stay away from refined carbohydrates and sugar.
  • Eat sufficient amounts of protein for each meal of the day.
  • Learn ways to cope with stress.
  • Avoid under-eating as well as over-eating.
  • Drink green tea regularly.
  • Consume fatty fish.
  • Stay physically active.

Why do new moms cry?

Most new moms experience some or several ‘baby blues’ symptoms right after giving birth. It is believed to be caused by the abrupt change in hormones following delivery, sleep deprivation, fatigue, isolation, and stress. Because of all these, new moms may often feel overwhelmed, tearful, and emotionally sensitive.

How do mothers feel after birth?

During the first weeks of taking care of their newborn, most new mothers feel frustrated, worried, dazed, and tired. These feelings combined are often called the baby blues. They get better after a few weeks, though, when they eventually grow stronger and more stable emotionally.

How long does it take to feel normal after giving birth?

Completely recovery from pregnancy and delivery could take months. Many women feel almost entirely healed after six to eight weeks, but it could also take longer to feel normal again. During this period, the new mom feels like her body has turned against her, but she must not get depressed, as this will soon pass.

What is a postpartum woman?

A postpartum woman is a mother who just gave birth. Postpartum pertains to the new mother, while postnatal pertains to the baby.

How long does anxiety last after having a baby?

Unlike the usual baby blues that persist for approximately two weeks, anxiety after giving birth, unfortunately, does not always disappear by itself. It is vital to seek help if your anxiety has resulted in sleep deprivation or too much worry. In moderate or severe cases of postpartum anxiety can even persist indefinitely.

What do baby blues mean?

Baby blues are emotions of unhappiness that a new mother may experience a few days after giving birth. These are also known as postpartum blues.

What happens to the baby when the mother cries?

Having occasional crying bouts would not tend to hurt your unborn baby. However, more severe episodes of depression and constant crying could potentially impact your pregnancy and your baby negatively.

Source: rawpixel.com

If you have experienced postpartum depression in the past, inform your obstetrician if you plan to become pregnant or just as soon as you know that you’re pregnant. During pregnancy, your OB can monitor you thoroughly for indications of depression. He or she may require you to take a depression questionnaire before and after giving birth. When the depression is mild, this can be dealt with successfully through counseling and joining support groups.

Postpartum depression is not only weakness or a personality glitch. Often, it is merely a complication of delivery. If you experience postpartum depression, proper treatment can help you deal with your symptoms and connect successfully with your baby.

 

Postpartum Depression: A Family Matter

 

Source: rawpixel.com

 

For many women, delivering a newborn is an amazing, happy, and often problematic time. But for those with post or peripartum depression, it could suddenly become quite stressful and tough. Postpartum depression is a severe but curable medical condition that involves emotions of severe sadness, anxiety, and indifference. It also manifests with changes in sleep patterns, appetite, and energy, and the mother and child may carry mild to moderate risks.

Women can also become sad or depressed while they are pregnant or just right after giving birth, and this is called peripartum depression. Approximately 1 in 7 women reported having experienced peripartum depression.

Pregnancy and the months after having a baby are an especially crucial period for women. Moms frequently complain of emotional, biological, social, and financial changes. Some of them are highly at risk of having mental health conditions, particularly anxiety and depression. This can be a difficult time for the whole family, and each member is affected as the light of the family suffers from these problems.

Undoubtedly, depression that is untreated during and after pregnancy is not only a challenge for the mother’s life but the baby and the entire family as well. Depression can affect the connection between the baby and their mothers, leading to feeding and sleeping problems for the newborn. Eventually, kids with mothers suffering from peripartum depression also become vulnerable to developing verbal, emotional, and cognitive deficits, including abnormal social skills.

Source: rawpixel.com

Symptoms of Depression

  • Extreme feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and worry
  • Fatigue and frequent tiredness
  • Appetite changes
  • Difficulty sleeping or waking up
  • Lack of affection or interest in her newborn
  • Feeling guilty about being a bad mom.
  • Fear of harming herself or her baby
  • Helplessness

Women who experience depression typically have several of the symptoms listed above, and the level of severity may alter at any time. A woman is diagnosed with peripartum depression, these symptoms must manifest within a month after delivery, although depressive symptoms can happen any time. However, if you or someone you are experiencing the mentioned symptoms for about two weeks, you should call your primary physician. You should also contact him or her if you are having suicidal thoughts, your depression is becoming worse, or if you are having difficulty performing activities of daily living.

Treatment

Many mothers do not tell their partners or family members when they are struggling with their pregnancy, but it is important to know that treatment for depression in the pregnancy stage and onwards is essential. More awareness and comprehension leads to more improved results for women and their newborns.

Source: rawpixel.com

Like other forms of depression, postpartum depression can be cured with medications, lifestyle modification, family and group support, psychotherapy, and a combination of these approaches. Pregnant women or those that are nursing must talk about the risks and advantages of taking medications with their obstetricians. Generally, the risk of developing birth abnormalities to the baby in the womb is quite low, and the result must be made based on the possible risks and benefits.

The APA guidelines for managing pregnant mothers with depression suggest psychotherapy without taking medications as the initial treatment, particularly when the depression is mild. For those with moderate to severe anxiety or depression, antidepressants must be considered the first line of treatment, as stated by the APA.

With the appropriate management, most of the new moms are relieved from their depressive symptoms. Those who are being managed for peripartum depression must continue their treatment until instructed by their primary physician to stop treatment. If treatment is abruptly stopped, the symptoms might recur.

Coping With Postpartum Depression

Family and friends’ support and encouragement, exercise, and balanced nutrition can be very helpful tools. Other recommendations for helping these women manage their depression during pregnancy include sufficient rest and relaxation, such as going out with friends or joining recreational classes.

For Family And Friends

Full support from spouses, family, and significant others is very vital. Some suggestions from the National Institute for Health include:

Source: rawpixel.com

  • Be aware of the signs. Family members and close friends must learn to identify the symptoms of anxiety and depression. If you see several of them in your loved one, encourage her to see her physician or a local health care provider right away.
  • Be there to listen. Let her feel that you are there for her, ready to listen to her concerns. You can ask her if she has trouble sleeping and what she usually does if she experiences this. Or just ask her how she’s doing. Sometimes it’s the small things we do that mean very much to them.
  • Let her know there is help. She might not be comfortable and does not want to ask for help, or she just doesn’t know where to find the help she needs. Let her know that you can go with her to the local health facility to talk to a professional. Learn about postpartum depression and talk to her about it. Offer to schedule an appointment with a therapist or counselor. Make her feel that her family loves, supports, and needs her to heal.

 

How First-Time Moms Avoid Having Mental Health Issues

On the second day of my seven-day trip to Bali, Indonesia, my mother called and told me to come back to California immediately. Of course, I panicked and started packing my clothes while calling the airline to rebook my flight. Though Mom did not tell me why I knew she would not get in the way of my much-awaited vacation if it weren’t for an urgent matter. My only guess was that Dad’s high blood pressure went through the roof again, causing him to collapse (which already happened twice).

When I reached the airport, I called my mother to let her know when to pick me up. Then, I thought of asking, “What happened there?”

Mom explained, “John (my sister’s husband) was freaking out, saying that Celie (my sister) was too focused on their little boy ever since he got pneumonia.”

how-first-time-moms-avoid-having-mental-health-issues
Source: pexels.com

Confused, I said, “I don’t see the problem. It’s normal for mothers like Celie to be like that.”

But Mom argued, “No, it’s not normal for mothers to avoid sleeping at night because they worry that something crazy will happen to the baby while they’re resting. That’s what your sister is doing, and she won’t listen to John or your father or me, so we’re hoping that she’ll listen to you.”

This news bothered me the entire flight back home. Celie had always been the mentally tough one between the two of us. But when she became a mother for the first time, she seemed unsure of her actions. I kept on thinking of what I should say to my sister when we meet, and I stuck with the following:

how-first-time-moms-avoid-having-mental-health-issues
Source: pexels.com

Stop Feeling Guilty Every Time Your Child Gets Sick

The primary problem with first-time moms is that they experience terrible guilt whenever their baby coughs, sneezes, or, worse, become feverish. They keep on saying sorry to the infant while thinking of what they probably did to cause it. “Was the bathwater too cold?” “Did I give spoiled milk to my baby?” “Did we stay outdoors for too long?”

In reality, there can be a hundred and one reasons why a child gets sick, especially during infanthood. Their immune system is still not as strong as that of an adult or at least a teenager. If they have a fever or flu, it is not precisely your fault. All you can do is make sure to increase their immunity so that viruses and bacteria won’t affect them again.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up If Your Baby Falls On Their Own

Infants tend to roll or crawl as early as six months. When that happens, everyone in the family rejoices, considering it is a significant milestone that they have crossed. But if the baby falls on their face, the mother usually beats herself up for “not watching the child more closely.”

how-first-time-moms-avoid-having-mental-health-issues
Source: pexels.com

 Think about that statement right now. Every time you let your baby crawl or roll around a mat, there is a high chance that you are also on the floor, ready to help them quickly. Still, some babies are more curious than others, in the sense that they want to leave the mat when you’re not looking. If they fall while doing that, it’s not because you have not taken care of them enough.

See Every Mistake As A Learning Experience

Many first-time moms read all the child-rearing books that they could get their hands on during pregnancy, hoping that they’d become experts at it before giving birth. But then the baby arrives, and they realize that they don’t know how to burp, bathe, or stop the infant from crying. Often, that makes new moms worry that they’re not good enough to look after their babies.

Well, considering you have made similar mistakes recently, try forgiving yourself for not knowing everything. That’s understandable because you have never looked after a child before, much less a newborn. Just learn how to do something correctly so that you won’t repeat the same mistakes next time.

how-first-time-moms-avoid-having-mental-health-issues
Source: pexels.com

Ask For Help Sometimes

Some first-time mothers want to be able to say that they have raised their kids without anyone’s help. That is especially true for single moms who have had to stick it out after their partner left or their parents disowned them. However, the more you try to do everything on your own, the more your mental health may suffer.

A word to the wise: ask for help sometimes.

For instance, if you need to go to work on short notice, find out if a friend can babysit your infant. In case you run out of food or milk, and your friend is going to the grocery store, ask them to buy it for you. You should never be ashamed of needing help and asking for it because you can’t get anything done when you allow shame to rule your life. But if you are THAT shy, you may promise to return the favor anytime your friend needs help.

how-first-time-moms-avoid-having-mental-health-issues
Source: pexels.com

Final Thoughts

My parents and I decided to spend a few days at my sister’s house to ensure that she won’t forget everything mentioned above. There was some resistance on Celie’s part at first, but when she finally got to sleep one night, she woke up with a much clearer perspective.

If a mother develops mental health issues while taking care of the baby, nothing good comes out. So, try to get your act together and follow our tips.

Surviving The Pandemic After Being Jobless

Source: pexels.com

I have two kids, and being a single mom, it is tough. The father is in a different state, and while he sends support, it is not enough. I still have to spend on these two since their dad can only do so much. Finances are much more difficult now that there is a pandemic. In March, businesses shut down and closed because of virus fear. How can people eat and pay for their bills without work?

(more…)

Desiderata: Strive To Be Happy

Source: pexels.com

The 2019 Conference About Happiness sealed the deal for me. It was as if I was meant to be there and to think, my sister just tagged me along. She was the one who needed to be in that type of conference for her work. It was a necessity for her, but for me, at that time I thought – What the heck did I get myself into? But then again, fate was unfolding for me. I had to accept it as it is because I deserve it.

(more…)

How Single Moms Struggle During This COVID-19 Outbreak

For most individuals, they find it useless to complain about their hardships during this time of the pandemic. That is understandably one of the bravest things a person can do because, honestly, no one wants this. No one expects that this global health crisis will become an individual’s terrifying reality. But for single moms, this situation is crippling. It leaves them on pause, and there seems to be no way out of it. Everything is exhausting and depressing.

Source: pexels.com

The Number One Struggle (Financial Strain)

Since a lot of companies are closed during this time, single moms can’t have something on the table. That is the reality in most countries. Well, they certainly understand every business’s decisions because these industries do not want to risk other people from getting infected. But the emotional and financial damage for single moms is unbearable. Single moms need their incomes, especially in times like this. But no one can promise that because no company is willing to pay any employee a full salary because it will financially strain the business. Sadly, it is a hopeless situation for both.

Source: pexels.com

All single moms are hopeful. They are waiting to go back to their lives so they can have something for their family. These individuals are eager to become productive again because they know they only have themselves. They understand the struggle of raising kids alone, and this situation is discouraging them in finding ways to survive. Most of these single moms are confused, terrified, and worried about the financial devastation that this pandemic offers them in this period. But what else can they do?

In some unfortunate instances, these singles parents are more than willing to go to work regardless of the whole pandemic crisis. They somehow do not care to risk their lives only to provide for their children. They do not hesitate to expose themselves outside even if there is only a little chance they can receive financial assistance. These single parents understand that they can’t afford to get sick. But due to this pandemic lockdown, every hour of work they miss becomes too much. With all the rent, utility bills, food, and other necessities, a “no work, no pay” company policy is like a living hell.

Source: pexels.com

Societal Judgment Based On Perceived Unfairness

For other people who don’t understand these single moms’ situation, they somehow easily conclude that these individuals are being entitled. That is because most governments in the countries around the world care to prioritize single parents’ needs at some point. And by that, other people complain and look at them as entitled individuals. But are they?

For most people with a stable and high paying salary, one can assume that they probably have savings. At some point, they do not care to worry about paying bills for the next couple of months. Perhaps they don’t struggle on a day to day basis because they already managed to prepare their necessities right after the announcement of the lockdown. But for some unfortunate single parents, every day is a struggle even before the pandemic begins. Just imagine their life right now that there is no guarantee of getting stable financial assistance. It is very tragic.

Source: pexels.com

Realizations In Times Like This

Since there are lots of people in the world who live their lives nearly from paycheck to paycheck, we can assume that this global health crisis only worsens them. For single moms or those individuals who are barely making ends meet, this pandemic situation makes them emotionally and mentally unstable. Therefore, we can never blame these single parents’ cry for immediate financial assistance.

Fear Of Having A Second Child

 

My first pregnancy was an unplanned one, and we were both in shock to learn that I was already on the way.  We were planning to have a baby after three years, but it seemed God had another plan for giving us the baby early.

Source: pixabay.com

 

(more…)