Motherhood brings a lot of happiness and a ton of pressure. You start to worry about much stuff, such as the baby should always be in perfect shape, the sweats, the diapers, the milk, the smell – everything should have to be perfect. Trying to be the perfect mom makes motherhood a crazy journey.
It is good to be organized and tidy when it comes to taking care of your child and the household plus of course as you go back to your job. Pushing yourself so that everything should be in their perfect place will stress you out and will finally make you feel burned out and hate the new role you play as a mother.
Being A Good Enough Mother Is Just Enough
Aim not to be the perfect mom, but be the good-enough mother who provides a safe and loving environment for your family. Accept that you cannot do everything and that you will also make a mistake.
“Accepting the idea of being a “good enough” mother versus a “perfect” mother could relieve a lot of the stress you place on yourself,” said Robyn Stein DeLuca, PhD.
Trying to be perfect will leave you frustrated. It is okay allowing your baby to have his downtime and just enjoying his moment staring at the ceiling as you try to cool off and take a timeout. You are not expected to be the all-day talking or singing mom that would jump up whenever her baby cries. You can let the baby relax in his bouncy seat for a while as you take a break, have a satisfying lunch, or a nice shower. Besides, it is a natural thing for a baby to cry, so do not easily get frustrated if you’re unable to calm him instantly.
Your Mom Skills Are Just Good – A Mother’s Instinct
As long as you know you are doing your best, never mind what others will say. No matter what you do, people will still criticize you, whether it is your mom or any member of your family, friends, and even strangers. They will say whatever they want not minding if they are hurting your feelings. Just be grateful for the comments and tips, and keep on doing what you’re doing as long as you know it is right.
“I think moms really need to keep perspective and look at how they can get their own basic needs met. Really try to stay grounded and not be concerned with the image that’s coming across,” said Kate Roberts, PhD.
According to a Philadelphia psychiatrist, new mothers have the innate tendency to want to protect and nurture her child, which I refer to as the maternal instinct.
Having a mother’s instinct is God’s gift to women after they gave birth just like how animals care for their offspring. Be confident with your skills, and if you are not sure, it is okay to ask someone who is more experienced than you are, like your mom. It is okay to ask for help to improve your skills.
Will You Be A Good Mum?
When a woman becomes a mother, God gave her no handbook on how to be one. But aside from the mother’s instinct, God gave every mother an example to follow as to how He himself cares, nurtures and comforts us like a mother. No mother will ever be like how God has been as a mom to us all, but we can try to come close.
As a mother to my kids, I focus not on how my children will describe me as a mother or how other people will criticize me, but how God will see me as a mother who guides and sets an example to my kids. I remind myself not to be conscious and not to pressure myself to be a supermom. Such title will just give me stress and will not let me do my role well as the mother that God intends me to be.
As a mother, I worry, I get overwhelmed and fuzzy, I discipline the way I think is just right, I consider the tips experienced mothers are giving me, and I listen to my kids. Listening to my kids allows us to build a better relationship as they grow and help us to be comfortable with each other.
To the new moms and moms in distress, avoid worrying too much about petty things and balance your discipline and love to the kind of relationship you want to have with your kids. “How a mother manages stress is often a model for the rest of the family,” says Lynn Bufka, PhD.
Motherhood is a tiring but fulfilling journey, and you still have a long way to go playing the role of a mother to your kids.