Though many people do not usually see it, most moms blame themselves when there is an imbalance in their lives. It is in terms of managing career, social networks, family, and home. Somehow, it became a norm for most mothers to feel guilty one way or another every time they are out of control. It makes them think that they made some wrong life decisions, and honestly, that is entirely damaging for all mothers’ mental and emotional health.
Mom’s guilt can come from so many reasons. It can come from a mother’s own perspective of incompetence and unavailability, other people’s constant judgments, and self-battle between want and need. It influences family and children’s relationships. Mom guilt can sabotage any mothers’ role because there is pressure all the time. It makes these moms believe that they are not enough as a mom or as a parent. Given that moms acknowledge their guilt, they should try and get rid of that no matter what.
How To Deal With Mom Guilt
Focus More On What Is There To Do
Often, moms developed guilt because they get caught up with pressure. They somehow want to handle everything because they overconfidently believe that they can accomplish it. You can’t blame them. The more these moms think they can manage it, the more they try harder. However, the problem begins when these mothers reach their limits. They often get overwhelmed with so many things in their hands that they cannot focus on what is more important. As a result, most moms end up with lots of stress, anxiety, and sometimes severe emotional and mental health issues. So to avoid this particular complication, moms should look forward to things that involve an immediate resolution. They should not allow themselves to get stuck with so many things on the table but must accomplish or solve problems one at a time. Moms should realize that they can’t have it all.
Do Not Listen To Know-It-All People
Usually, when mom’s guilt stems from other people’s judgment and criticism, it becomes too difficult to handle. That is because moms rely upon and become dependent on other people’s comments and opinions without critically thinking or validating the issue. This particular habit of listening to other people’s know-it-all remarks that potentially hold a different and negative meaning is the one that heightens their emotional and mental instability. Thus, if moms want to get rid of their guilt, they should not listen to other people, especially parenting. Mothers should realize that parenting styles and family approaches are different from one household to another. Thus, creating a standard based on other individuals’ lives is useless.
Establish A Trusted Circle
While there is an emphasis on not listening to other people’s unsolicited opinions, it is also essential for moms to surround themselves with a trusted circle. These could be close relatives, friends, or fellow mothers who support and trust their parenting and family care decisions. These should be the people who will not judge their choices and openly respect their preferences even if it does not entirely fit anyone’s standards. Establishing or narrowing down people in their lives will allow moms to know who they should consider listening to. They will become more open to advice without having negative feedback about what other people have to say. Having an established circle will help mothers not to view other people’s comments and suggestions as irrelevant remarks.
Prioritize Self-Awareness And Self-Care
Mothers should realize that self-care is not an option. It is not something they should do when they only feel like it. Self-care is a necessity. Moms should not feel guilty if they want to rest and relax because they deserve it. They should not apologize for leaving things disorganized because they need a particular break to eliminate mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. They need time to recharge and rethink. Self-care is different for every mom, and often some strategies that work for others do not work for some. But moms need to realize the significance of providing themselves the best time alone. Mothers should not feel sorry for being selfish once in a while. Remember, moms can do excellent things but only when they treat themselves better.
Unfortunately, the process of getting rid of mom’s guilt is easier said than done. But even though mom guilt can be detrimental to overall wellness, mothers should take advantage of it and use it the other way around. Mom guilt can be productive as it provides mothers a few insights into what they can improve and eliminate. Thus, they should learn to establish a work-life balance that includes proper scheduling, practice, and home arrangement. That way, moms can forget about the unnecessary buildup of guilt.