Month: June 2021

Counseling For Mothers Who Are Dealing With Mom Guilt

Though many people do not usually see it, most moms blame themselves when there is an imbalance in their lives. It is in terms of managing career, social networks, family, and home. Somehow, it became a norm for most mothers to feel guilty one way or another every time they are out of control. It makes them think that they made some wrong life decisions, and honestly, that is entirely damaging for all mothers’ mental and emotional health.

Mom’s guilt can come from so many reasons. It can come from a mother’s own perspective of incompetence and unavailability, other people’s constant judgments, and self-battle between want and need. It influences family and children’s relationships. Mom guilt can sabotage any mothers’ role because there is pressure all the time. It makes these moms believe that they are not enough as a mom or as a parent. Given that moms acknowledge their guilt, they should try and get rid of that no matter what.

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How To Deal With Mom Guilt

Focus More On What Is There To Do

Often, moms developed guilt because they get caught up with pressure. They somehow want to handle everything because they overconfidently believe that they can accomplish it. You can’t blame them. The more these moms think they can manage it, the more they try harder. However, the problem begins when these mothers reach their limits. They often get overwhelmed with so many things in their hands that they cannot focus on what is more important. As a result, most moms end up with lots of stress, anxiety, and sometimes severe emotional and mental health issues. So to avoid this particular complication, moms should look forward to things that involve an immediate resolution. They should not allow themselves to get stuck with so many things on the table but must accomplish or solve problems one at a time. Moms should realize that they can’t have it all.

Do Not Listen To Know-It-All People

Usually, when mom’s guilt stems from other people’s judgment and criticism, it becomes too difficult to handle. That is because moms rely upon and become dependent on other people’s comments and opinions without critically thinking or validating the issue. This particular habit of listening to other people’s know-it-all remarks that potentially hold a different and negative meaning is the one that heightens their emotional and mental instability. Thus, if moms want to get rid of their guilt, they should not listen to other people, especially parenting. Mothers should realize that parenting styles and family approaches are different from one household to another. Thus, creating a standard based on other individuals’ lives is useless.

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Establish A Trusted Circle

While there is an emphasis on not listening to other people’s unsolicited opinions, it is also essential for moms to surround themselves with a trusted circle. These could be close relatives, friends, or fellow mothers who support and trust their parenting and family care decisions. These should be the people who will not judge their choices and openly respect their preferences even if it does not entirely fit anyone’s standards. Establishing or narrowing down people in their lives will allow moms to know who they should consider listening to. They will become more open to advice without having negative feedback about what other people have to say. Having an established circle will help mothers not to view other people’s comments and suggestions as irrelevant remarks.

Prioritize Self-Awareness And Self-Care

Mothers should realize that self-care is not an option. It is not something they should do when they only feel like it. Self-care is a necessity. Moms should not feel guilty if they want to rest and relax because they deserve it. They should not apologize for leaving things disorganized because they need a particular break to eliminate mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. They need time to recharge and rethink. Self-care is different for every mom, and often some strategies that work for others do not work for some. But moms need to realize the significance of providing themselves the best time alone. Mothers should not feel sorry for being selfish once in a while. Remember, moms can do excellent things but only when they treat themselves better.

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Insight

Unfortunately, the process of getting rid of mom’s guilt is easier said than done. But even though mom guilt can be detrimental to overall wellness, mothers should take advantage of it and use it the other way around. Mom guilt can be productive as it provides mothers a few insights into what they can improve and eliminate. Thus, they should learn to establish a work-life balance that includes proper scheduling, practice, and home arrangement. That way, moms can forget about the unnecessary buildup of guilt.

 

Anxiety Buildup Over Delayed Period (Counseling For Women’s Health)

I genuinely do not want to talk about this emotional roller coaster that I am experiencing because I find it unnecessary to discuss this and a private issue. I mean, I literally do not want people to know that I am on the verge of breaking down just because I can’t seem to handle my thoughts. This anxiety that is building up on me is taking away my positive energy and sense of self-commitment. It makes me want to give in to stress and depression at the same time.

To tell it honestly, these worries over a delayed period are not supposed to bug me that easily. I am confident to handle it because this is what I am expecting. I am a consenting adult who understands how sex and pregnancy work. So this should not become a big deal since I already knew what would happen next. However, things are slightly out of hand because of some medical issues I may not have noticed I am going through.

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What’s The Issue?

One of my major concerns is my delayed period. This is genuinely the first time I missed out on a cycle. I tried researching about it, and fortunately, I find out that it is quite normal to experience it once or twice in a woman’s life. Therefore many Google results show that there is nothing to worry about since science already proved to be physically normal. But still, I have doubts about that percentage.

Days passed, and I began to get paranoid because of these “supposed” early signs of pregnancy. These include swollen breasts, bloating, mood swings, nausea, frequent urination, fatigue, light cramps, and of course, a delayed period. All of which is somewhat what I experienced for the past couple of weeks. But even if those things seem evident, I still didn’t think about the possibility of being pregnant because I know that my reproductive system needs healing. Yes, that is quite right. I am almost incapable of getting pregnant due to a long history of reproductive issues. I don’t intend to sound too negative about it because I still believe and hope that someday I can take these worries out of my clinical problems.

So to continue with the “delayed period story,” I went on and grabbed some pregnancy kit. The one that people use to test that urine hCG levels or something, we all know that. After testing, the result was negative. I feel relieved with the result, but I thought that I should retake the test to be sure. So I went to the local pharmacy and bought another one.

The first time I took the pregnancy test, I was genuinely hoping that I wasn’t pregnant. But on my second attempt, I sort of feel like wanting to get a different result. So after I tried testing again, the result was the same. But this time, the emotions are different. It was as if I was looking forward to a positive outcome. I began fantasizing about being pregnant.

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How Things Go

So after quite a whole series of testing and waiting (which was entirely emotionally and mentally exhausting), I tried testing again. The thing that pushed me to do this is Google. No, I am not blaming the internet for this mental agony. However, I still strongly suggest anyone never rely on the internet for any signs and symptoms as the results there create some emotional disturbance. But it was too late for me to grasp that idea, so I ended up researching some possible answers to this delayed menstrual period.

Back to the pregnancy trial story again, I was pretty much certain that some early symptoms are present. Unfortunately, the pregnancy kit doesn’t cooperate, and the result was again negative. Then the anxiety went up, and there is no stopping it. I tried testing three times, and all three results were negative, so what else should I expect? Then there goes me again, Googling some possible answers where I find out that I might be suffering from pseudocyesis. It is the condition that a woman believes in expecting a baby when she is not actually carrying a child. This search result scared me because I thought I could be crazy. I have this strong feeling of being pregnant due to some of the pregnancy symptoms, except that there is no actual fetus.

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Final Thoughts

This whole situation of a missed period is giving me a hard time. I can’t sleep and think clearly because I might end up having a serious reproductive health problem, which is a lot to take in. I hope and pray that there is nothing clinically serious or damaging involve in this dilemma.