The 2019 Conference About Happiness sealed the deal for me. It was as if I was meant to be there and to think, my sister just tagged me along. She was the one who needed to be in that type of conference for her work. It was a necessity for her, but for me, at that time I thought – What the heck did I get myself into? But then again, fate was unfolding for me. I had to accept it as it is because I deserve it.
I have not been happy for a very long time. And you guessed it right. I lost my baby boy, my mini Pincher Apollo. And at about the same time, my boyfriend since high school, left me for his co-worker. I know. It is sad. Apollo was my baby for the past five years and Gene, well, we have been together forever. It was the most painful moment of my life. And I thought I would not be able to survive it. Luckily, I am still breathing and the conference was one of the reasons why I am what and how I am right now.
Max Ehrmann said in his poem “Desiderata” and I could not forget it: (Quoted)
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
One of the participants in the conference whom I was on the same table with shared this to all of us. KEEP PEACE IN YOUR SOUL…. IT IS STILL A BEAUTIFUL WORLD. And I though, yeah, damn right it is! Why should I let Gene dictate my mood and my feelings? Why do I have to be very sad about Apollo all the time? Gene never saw my value and put me aside. So why would I dwell on that? Apollo, I know, he loved me very much and I should cling to that fact, that I had five wonderful years with my baby.
Be at peace with good. Strive to be happy. And what is happy? Waking up every morning, being able to breathe fresh air, going to a place of work which I love, having family and friends who are supportive, and so much more. Enough with the grief and start to look at things brightly.