A lot of things will change in your world when you become a mom. There’s too much of everything. You sometimes end up having a bad and a great day at the same time. You often feel stressed, anxious, depress, and agitated for no particular reasons. All the anxiety are there, and you can’t seem to control it. There are instances that even the emotional and mental health affects the physiological aspects as well. It’s a bit damaging and a lot more exhausting than you think.
When you experienced having kids, it’s normal that you’ll feel overwhelmed with love. You might even appreciate what your body can do. But what takes over your overall health is society’s view. There’s this societal rule everywhere of how to become a “perfect” mother. You can visibly see it in commercials and movies. In some unfortunate instances, people can become way too insensitive and can come up to you with unsolicited advice on how you should handle your kids. They always have something to say about the choices you have to make for your children and family.
Another thing that seems to boost all these anxiety and stress in motherhood is the pressure of becoming more than “just a mom.” Meaning, hundreds and thousands of mothers out there don’t want to lock themselves doing limited tasks. Some of them choose to earn money to support their kids too. Some of them want a career boost for self-development. Most women nowadays are not contented anymore in staying at home, cleaning the house, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry. Almost all women are now focusing on getting back out in the field and do something for themselves. Perhaps, you are also one of those mothers who are eager to get back to your usual routine.
With all the constant reminders that you have to take from people you know and don’t know, the pressure of motherhood goes up. Therefore, there’s a battle for complete tolerance from things you can and can’t do. Yes, you will never escape the hardships and struggle of parenting, but you have to stretch out your patience. Because the only way you can work with things related to your children is through experiencing everything for yourself. No one can tell you how to handle specific things and whatnots, because only you have the potential to work on it for everybody’s sake. It is hard because everyone (even yourself) might start to doubt your capabilities. So be patient and try to control things your way.
“Not being able to do things as before, taking time out for oneself, letting the baby cry, not being the “perfect” parent, are all thoughts that tap into this reservoir of “not enough.” Accepting oneself with the same love and kindness that one accepts their baby helps smooth the guilt-ridden, mommy waters, and it’s wonderful parental modeling for our children too,” Dr. Juli Fraga, Psy.D., notes.
Admit it. Patience is something that people use to keep mothers from changing parenting courses. Since most individuals know that kids are generally impulsive, irritable, annoying, and out of control, having a melt-down is no excuse. Why? That’s because if you do, you affect both you and your kids’ emotional, psychological, and behavioral aspects.
“Anger issues, panic attacks and depressive episodes are among presentations that I see annihilating the image of the fairytale supermum that society, the media and indeed women, have created. What transpires behind closed doors can be at odds with the masks worn at mother and toddler groups or at school drop offs,” wrote Niamh Delmar, MSc in Counselling Psychology, C.Psych.
However, the sad part is, there’s nothing you can do about it. Because as much as you want to avoid yelling and screaming at them, you’ll end up doing it eventually. That becomes a struggle because you opt not to do the things you’re supposed to. And sometimes you do the things you shouldn’t.
There are significant ways you can do to keep yourself healthy. That’s not only for personal sake but also for the benefit of the kids as well. Because for you to be able to provide for your children, you have to make sure that you are emotionally, physically, and mentally okay.
“A mom who is well rested, eats a healthy diet, gets plenty of exercise, maintains close relationships with friends and gets help when she realizes she isn’t coping well, is far more equipped to be the best mother she can be than one who doesn’t do those things. It isn’t selfish to take time to exercise or to get an adequate sleep each night,” wrote Kelly L. Ross, MD, FAAP, who specializes in maternal and family support.
You have to increase the chances of helping yourself operate in a lower baseline of tension and anxiety. There is a need to secure your health so you will be less likely to freak out at your kids, or worst, throw temper on adults around you. For the most part, people can become well-intentioned. But it still depends on the situation.
With all the stressful things associated with motherhood, there’s still a pause in the chaos. That is the love of your children that you will experience for the rest of your life. That even if you think that what you’re doing is entirely wrong, they are the ones that will show you how much you’ve tried.